And Here we are as on a Darkling Plain
by Darklit Snapefan
Summary: A light-hearted Snape OC Romance.
1. Prologue and One: The Land of Dreams

And We are Here as on a Darkling Plain

Disclaimer: Virtually everything you read is the property of JK Rowling. Kaira is my invention, as are a couple of scattered bits and bobs, but generally, it's all JKR's. So There.

Prologue

_"Ah, love, let us be true_

_To one another! for the world, which seems_

_To lie before us like a land of dreams,_

_So various, so beautiful, so new,_

_Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,_

_Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;_

_And we are here as on a darkling plain_

_Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight._

_Where ignorant armies clash by night."_

_- Dover Beach, Matthew Arnold_

He watched in satisfaction as the woman made her way to platform 9 ¾ on the path that led to Hogwarts. His plan had worked; the carefully laid weave had formed a pattern. It would all happen the way he had planned. She would go to Hogwarts, and they would need her. One, particularly. It would all happen as he had planned and he would watch to make sure it progressed as it should.

* * *

Chapter One – the Land of Dreams

Kaira Elmsford was a little nervous. After being offered the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts several months ago (after a thoroughly disconcerting interview with the Headmaster that had left her with the impression that he knew what she was thinking), she had not been back to the castle. She had seen only a handful of the other teachers and certainly had met no students. And with the record the school had for Defence teachers, she felt entitled to be a little jittery. She ticked them off on her fingers. Professor Quirrel, who had been working for the Dark Lord. Professor Lockhart, who had accidentally got oblivated. Professor Lupin, who had been a werewolf. Professor Moody, who had in fact not been Professor Moody at all. And, of course, Professor Umbridge. Five teachers in as many years. There had to be a reason. But still, she had always wanted to teach and Hogwarts was the best place to do it.

She was waiting at platform 9¾, as per Professor Dumbledore's instructions, and was, for once, early. There were a few other early students waiting with parents, mostly first years as far as she could see. They seemed impossibly young, and she wondered how on earth she could teach them, especially about the Dark Arts! And then there was the whole question of the sixth year class that seemed to get into so much trouble. The year that contained Harry Potter. She sighed.

Before that train of thought could make her too melancholy, another train arrived. The Hogwarts express. Gratefully, she gave up her cold bench and found herself an empty compartment and settled down to watch the scenery.

She was soon disabused of any notion that she might have a peaceful journey, when a group of unruly second years took the compartment opposite, and a quieter group finally joined hers. Gritting her teeth and looking studiously out of the window, the journey passed.

When she got out of the train, she noticed Professor McGonagall, one of the few teachers she had actually been introduced to. As Deputy Head, she had been on an errand when she was having her interview.

"Ah, Professor Elmsford," she said cheerily. "Welcome to Hogwarts!"

"Thank you, Professor McGonagall," she replied, smiling back at the formidable Scotch woman, whose bun for once was threatening to unravel.

"Please, it's Minerva," McGonagall breezed. "The house elves will take your cases up to your rooms. If you would care to watch the sorting, I'll take you along to the Great Hall!"

"Thank you Minerva," Kaira was grateful. "My name's Kaira."

But Minerva had been distracted by the first years, whom she was ushering in the direction of a huge figure who was booming:

"Firs' years! Firs' years follow me!"

"That's Hagrid," Minerva said, following Kaira's gaze. "He teaches Care of Magical Creatures."

"I'm sure he's admirably suited," she grinned.

Minerva laughed.

"I'll take you to the Great Hall. Most of the teachers will already be seated when the students enter. Myself and Hagrid are the exceptions. The returning students will come in next, and finally the first years."

Kaira was still as impressed with the castle as she had been the first time she had seen it. It was amazingly beautiful. None of it seemed to be of the same date to any other part, but it was beautiful nonetheless. She admired it as covertly as possible, as Minerva who saw the same view every day would hardly be impressed. She was surprised, then, when Minerva stopped suddenly.

"I never tire of looking at it," she said, gazing fondly at the castle. "Look, you can see the divination tower. Looks as if Sybil's up to no good again,"

"Sybil?"

"Sybil Trelawny, our Divination teacher."

Minerva led her into the castle and along a tangled nest of corridors to the Great Hall. It was empty except for the teachers at the high table at the front of the hall. Dumbledore rose to greet her.

"My dear, welcome to Hogwarts!"

"Thank you, Headmaster," she replied.

"Everyone, this is Kaira Elmsford, our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher,"

There was a collection of 'hello's waves and smiles from all but one of the faces. That face belonged to a pale man with shoulder length black hair. He looked decidedly unfriendly. In fact, he looked at her as if she... well she didn't know, but something terrible. It was a glare that looked as if, turned up a notch, could literally kill.

She took her place at the table next to a smiling witch who introduced herself as Professor Sprout, herbology. Sprout took upon herself the task of pointing out all of the teachers along the row.

"Well, next to me is Hooch, the flying coach (watch out for her, she has a temper)..."

"I heard that, Sprout!"

"And along from her," Sprout continued blithely, ignoring Hooch completely, "is Professor Sinistra of astronomy, Vector from Arithmancy..." Kaira tried to commit the names to memory so that she wouldn't have to ask again. Finally, Sprout came to the black-haired wizard who had glared at her. "That's Snape, the potions master. Head of Slytherin, too. Very gifted of course, but, well. Um. Not the nicest of people to speak to. I'd avoid him, dear." She moved on quickly. "You know Dumbledore of course, and past him is..."

She heard the sound of a huge student body marching along the corridor and soon the hall was filled with noisy children who all gravitated to their tables. Kaira knew about the houses, of course, and wondered what house she would have been sorted into. Ravenclaw, perhaps? Maybe Gryffindor, or even Hufflepuff. The noise abated by the old students was abated when the new students were ushered in by Minerva and Hagrid. The Sorting began.

She watched in fascination as the students were allocated to their houses by the Hat. It looked such a disreputable garment that she was surprised it was able to differentiate, but evidently it could. The students all looked proud to join their houses and they did look a little like their archetypes. The Gryffindors looked proud and reckless, the Ravenclaws studious, the Hufflepuffs solid and friendly and the Slytherins, well, sly.

When the sorting had finished, Professor Dumbledore gave his customary 'welcome back and welcome first years' speech.

"Finally, I'd like to introduce to you your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Elmsford." She stood up and smiled. There was a smattering of polite applause. "And now, the feast!"

Professor Dumbledore hadn't lied in the interview when he'd bribed her with the idea of the wonderful food served daily at Hogwarts. The food was every bit as delicious as he'd claimed. She hoped it really was every day, and not just for the beginning of term feast!

When the feast was ended and the students packed off to their dormitories, Professor Dumbledore beckoned her over.

"I'll have a house-elf show you to your rooms, Kaira," he said, smiling at her. "I'm sure you must be tired. I'll send her again to fetch you in the morning and show you to the staff room."

"Thanks, Professor," she said.

"Don't mention it, my dear," he twinkled and left her to it.

Her rooms were perfect: there was a huge expanse of empty bookshelves waiting for her to unpack her specially compressed trunk (there were a few too many books she could not live without) and were tastefully decorated. But instead of admiring it, she sank into bed and was soon asleep.

She knew no more until the following morning, when she woke to see that she had a mere ten minutes to get ready. Panicking a little, she threw on her robes, plaited her hair to keep it tidy and looked at herself critically in the mirror.

"You'll do, dear," it told her.

"_Thank_ you," she replied, trying to glare at it without glaring at herself: a feat that seemed to be impossible. She had a muggle mirror at home.

The elf arrived dead on time and led her through the labyrinthine corridors to the staff room. She was the last to arrive. She spotted an empty seat near to Sprout and made for it, noting the surly Snape lurking in a corner that somehow contrived to be shadowy. He seemed to prefer it like that.

Dumbledore beamed at her.

"Good morning, my dear. Sleep well?"

"Very well, thank you Professor,"

"Good, good. I'll have someone show you your classroom later." He turned to the rest of the room. "First on the agenda..."

Kaira's classroom and office turned out to be as suitable as her rooms. The office had yet more bookshelves, regrettably these were already filled. However, on closer examination, the books turned out to be ones that she would find useful.

Well, it is the Defence Against the Dark Arts's teacher's office! She told herself. Of course the books are going to be relevant.

Her first class, she noted, was the sixth year class of Gryffindors and Slytherins. How nice. Why on earth were those two houses so often put together? It was a recipe for disaster! She read through her lesson plans and made sure everything was ready and waited for the class to arrive.

"Good morning," she greeted them, when they finally finished arriving. "Today's class is on..."

The class was proceeding quite well when she heard a clearly audible whisper from the blond haired boy near the back whom she had ticked off for talking a few minutes earlier.

"How's _she_ supposed to teach us the Dark Arts anyway?"

"Mr Malfoy, is it?" she asked, her voice as menacing as she could make it. "I think I am qualified. I have a degree level certificate, am a fully trained Auror and also have had a personal acquaintance with a user of the Dark Arts. Well, ex-user, now."

Malfoy looked at her in disgust.

"Ten points from Slytherin." She moved on.


	2. Two: The Potions Master's Brews

Chapter Two – The Potions Master's Brews

Professor Snape was glad to be in his dungeons, empty as they were. It would be a few hours yet before his domain was invaded, and a day before he had to face Potter. He sat at his desk, glaring at the desks that would soon be filled with students. Well, students by name, at least. He sighed. Why on earth was he here? No, don't answer that, he told himself.

As for that new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, he doubted she'd last past the year. There was something... familiar... about her, though. As if he ought to know her. From where, he had no idea, but there was a faint indication of... something. He shook his head, dismissing her. For all he knew, she danced the hula in Hawaii. At least she wasn't as bad as Umbridge and would hopefully leave him be.

Kaira finished her classes for the day with relief. The first day was always the worst at any new job, she had found. And she had tried a few. Nothing had seemed to suit her, so she had kept moving on. She had an appointment with the Headmaster, so attempted to find her way to his office. She found it surprisingly easy.

"Ah, Kaira," he said, as she knocked on the open door. "Do come in and sit down. Tea? Coffee? Jelly baby?"

"Tea, please," she answered, smiling.

He passed her a mug.

"So, how was your first day?"

"Not so bad," she replied. "I had a little run in with one student but other than that they were all very co-operative."

"I think they are all relieved that you are not a certain Professor Umbridge. As for the student, was it a certain Malfoy, perhaps?"

"Yes," she said, relieved. So it wasn't her.

"He makes problems for everyone," he told her. "Except Professor Snape, of course. And even he gets sick of him sometimes. Especially as Draco favours his father so much." Kaira wanted to ask why, but refrained. Instead, she asked another question that had been bothering her.

"It seemed to me that Professor Snape didn't seem too friendly when I arrived,"

"He's like that with everyone, my dear. He's a very prickly personality."

"So I gather, but it felt as if he really hated me."

"He doesn't know you yet, so he can't hate you," Dumbledore twinkled at her. "And I'm sure when he does, his attitude will be changed."

The next day, Kaira decided she would track down the elusive Professor Snape, with whom she had not exchanged a single word. He couldn't be that unpleasant. She wandered down the corridors in search of his office, and eventually found herself in the dungeons. It seemed fitting for such a cold-looking personality, she smirked to herself.

As she entered the potions dungeon, Snape seemed to materialise almost like a ghost.

"Ah, Professor Elmsford. To what do I owe the pleasure?" not the most promising of openings to their first conversation. He sounded as unfriendly as he had looked when she had first seen him.

"Good morning, Professor Snape. I realised that I hadn't actually spoken to you yet, so thought I would come and remedy that."

"Very commendable of you, I'm sure," he drawled. "Now, if there is nothing else, I am a little busy."

"There was something else," she said. "I hope to study certain of the Dark Arts that require potions and I wondered if you would have them, or if I should order them from my usual suppliers."

"What potions would you be requiring?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

She listed a few potions that she considered necessary to certain levels of study. He nodded grudgingly.

"Good choices. You might want to include the Jacinta infusion. I can provide all of them, as long as you let me know in advance when you will be requiring them."

"Excellent. Thank you, Professor Snape."

"You are welcome," he replied, more than a hint of sarcasm. Then he said something that startled her immeasurably. "Bristow!" Kaira choked.

"I'm sorry?"

"_That's_ who you remind me of." Sarcasm forgotten for a moment, he stared at her.

"I'm his daughter." She admitted. He blinked and studied her more closely.

"Really... most interesting. Now, Professor _Elmsford_, I suspect you also have more pressing matters to attend to."

She backed out of the classroom as if she had been dismissed by royal decree. She was still very much confused by the way he had recognised her. She hadn't wanted them all to know who her father was, except from Dumbledore, of course. She had to tell him. But she didn't really like it to be known that her father was an adept of the Dark Arts. Even one who had turned informer after the fall of the Dark Lord. He had never been famous, not like some, but the name still carried a stigma. It was no use explaining that she had never lived with him, and it was partly him that had driven her to specialise in Defence Against the Dark Arts – people automatically assumed that she too must be a purveyor of the Dark Arts.

How was it, though, that Snape had known him?

She was Bristow's daughter! That explained the odd sense that he should know her. That man had been an... acquaintance of Snape's, and not a favoured one. The man had not been pleasant to work with. He had, however, been a powerful wizard and no sloppy potions maker, either. That was why Snape had been working with him, of course...

When she next saw Professor Snape, she endeavoured to catch his eye. When she did, she almost wilted under the pressure of his glare, but smiled brightly at him in reply. She wanted to ask him how he knew her father, and if he was to tell her, they would have to be on speaking terms! He looked away in disgust and started a conversation with Sprout about certain herbs she was growing that he wanted for certain potions. It wasn't until she stopped inwardly fuming that she noticed that they were talking about an herb for one of the potions she had requested. Sprout was nodding and saying that there was some ready if he cared to stop by the greenhouse to cut some.

Not one to leave things hanging, Kaira sought out Snape in his dungeon the same afternoon. He wasn't in the main dungeon, but a room leading off it. He was delicately chopping a root in front of a gently steaming cauldron from which blue vapour rose.

"Twice in as many days. You never seem to tire of my company, Professor Elmsford," he said as she came in. His voice was full of the customary sarcasm. "What can I do for you now?"

"I didn't realise you intended brewing the potion for me. I would have purchased it from my supplier if I hadn't known there was none made up."

"I thought there was, but it seems to have run out..." he replied. "And I am sure what you purchase from your _supplier_," he said the word with the utmost contempt, "is certainly at least second-rate if not less."

"Well, thank you."

"I assure you it is as much to replenish my stocks as to help you," he replied. "Tell me, do you use Gilbert or do you prefer the idiots at Hedgans?"

"Hedgans," she admitted.

"I thought so," he snorted.

"Professor," she said. "Yesterday, you recognised... who my father was. How did you know him?"

He turned away from her to fetch something from a supply cupboard. His answer seemed to float from behind the dark figure.

"I met him in connection with some potions work I was then carrying out." His voice was cold. He tipped the chopped herbs into the cauldron, which fizzed purple sparks. He stirred it gently and added a couple of drops of whatever he had taken from the cupboard. The sparks turned green and then died down. There was a long silence. "Is there anything else, or do you intend to stand there all day?" his tone was acerbic and mocking.

She flushed.

"Thank you, Professor," she said, and fled.


	3. Three: Remembering Relatives

Chapter Three – Remembering Relatives

A day or so later, Kaira nerved herself to make another trip to the dungeons. She wanted to ask Snape for a couple of the potions she wanted for her classes. As she entered the dungeon, Snape once again suddenly materialised. She'd give a lot to know how he did that!

"Can I help you?" he said, shortly, obviously displeased at being disturbed.

"I just wanted to ask you for some of those potions we talked about."

"Very well. Come with me."

He led her through the main dungeon to another door hidden in the shadows. He opened it to reveal a room full of shelves upon shelves of bottled potions.

"Which ones do you want?"

She named several potions and Snape hunted out the bottles.

"...and Jacinta infusion,"

"I see you took my advice," he glanced searchingly at her.

"You're the potions master," she replied.

"How intelligent of you to notice," he replied snidely. He plucked a final bottle from the shelves. "I assume that will be all?"

"Thank you, Professor," she tried smiling at him.

"You're _welcome_," he said in a voice that assured her that she was not at all welcome. "Oh, and Professor Elmsford, I hear that you've been deducting points from my students."

"Malfoy questioned my qualifications as a teacher."

"Well, I assume you corrected him on _that_ score," he replied.

"I didn't tell him about my father, if that's what you mean."

"Really, Professor," he raised one eyebrow. "How very interesting."

"If I might..."

"Do not worry, I will not tell him either,"

"Thank you."

"Now, if there is nothing else, I have work to be doing."

She didn't mention that it had been him who brought the topic up, nor that he seemed to do nothing but work. That seemed like tempting disaster, so she merely thanked him for the potions and retreated.

The next day was a Saturday, and a cheery knock came on her office door as she was catching up on some marching.

"Hello?" she called.

"It's only me," said Professor Sprout, "We're off to Hogsmead, if you want to come."

"That would be lovely," Kaira replied. "I'll just be a moment."

She pulled on her boots and coat, then warded her office door.

Outside, she met Sprout, and with her Professor Hooch and the dark-haired Professor Sinistra.

"Nice to see you, Kaira," said Hooch.

"You, too," she replied, taking in all three of them with her smile.

"Let's go then!" said Sprout. "To Hogsmead!"

Hogsmead was amazing. Kaira had heard about it often, but never actually been there. It was the only purely wizarding town in the country and it was incredible. She did not buy much, apart from a bottle of wine that she thought it would be nice to give to Snape for his help with the potions. After all their shopping had been accomplished, Sprout led the way to the Hogshead.

It was a lovely old-style pub and Kaira sat happily at a table with her new friends.

"So how are you liking it so far?" Hooch asked.

"I love it," she answered honestly. "I love teaching, the castle is wonderful and the staff have all been very helpful."

"What, even Severus?"

"Severus?"

"Snape."

"Oh. Yes, he has, actually. He's given me some potions for my classes."

That raised a couple of eyebrows.

"I've never heard of him doing that before," Sprout smiled.

"Seems very un-Snape like to me," said Hooch.

"Perhaps no-one asked before," Sinistra raised an elegant eyebrow.

"Now, Sinistra, just because you're a Slytherin," Sprout grinned.

"I am nothing of the sort!"

"Well, maybe not, but your brothers were. And I still think you would have been had you studied here."

"Perhaps," she replied.

When they had returned, she headed for Snape's dungeon.

"What now, Professor Elmsford?" he said, in exasperation.

"I do wish you would call me Kaira, Professor," she said.

"_Kaira_, then. I've never had someone pay so many visits to my dungeons." He sounded as if he was keen to keep it that way.

"I've bought you a bottle of wine, as a thank you for giving me those potions."

"How very _kind_ of you," he said, in that silky tone of voice she knew meant she was on dangerous ground. "I think I'll send it to Sprout. She's very keen on wine, you know."

He took the bottle and headed to the fireplace in his office. He threw a pinch of Floo power into it and said: 'Professor Sprout'. The bottle vanished.

Kaira smiled brightly and left the dungeons.

Sprout had, of course, seen Kaira buy the bottle, so would assume the gift was from her. It wouldn't occur to her that the potions master might have sent it.

She still made a point of smiling brightly at Snape and saying hello when she could, and still received glares in return. Until one day, she received a slight nod and no glare whatsoever. This was an improvement! Buoyed up by this success, she visited the potions master in his lair later that day.

"Kaira," he greeted her.

"S... Severus," she replied, thrown by the fact that he hadn't immediately demanded to know what she was doing in his domain. "I was just hoping you'd tell me a bit more about how you knew my father."

He stared at her intently for a moment and she felt a little like a rabbit being hypnotised by a snake.

"Dumbledore didn't tell you, did he?"

"Tell me what?"

"About my rather unique situation." He began to roll up one of his sleeves. Oh no, she thought. Please, no. Don't let this be what I think it is! But it was. The potions master impassively revealed an ugly mark on his forearm. The Dark Mark. "_This_ is how I knew your father."

Although Kaira was a fully trained Auror, she had never actually worked as one, and her only thought was to run away. Run to Dumbledore. Snape watched her go, something akin to satisfaction in his eyes.

It took her but moments to reach Dumbledore's office.

"Do come in, my dear!" he said, as she knocked on the door. "What is the matter?"

"S...Severus is a Death Eater?" she demanded. Dumbledore sighed.

"Oh dear. I suppose I should have briefed you about this, Kaira, but I didn't want to alarm you. You see, Severus _was_ a Death Eater, but he turned, even before the war. He's been passing on information to us at great risk to himself for years."

"I... see..." she stuttered.

"Really it was too bad of him to break it to you like that," Dumbledore told her. "Here, drink some tea. Have a jelly baby." His eyes twinkled, and she began to think it wasn't that bad at all, for a moment.

"He knew my father." She said, bluntly.

"So, that's it," he said, thoughtfully. "I did wonder. Yes, I believe I remember Severus telling me something about when he first took the mark, some potions work he was doing supervised by Bristow. He didn't much care for him, I fear."

"I don't think many people did," Kaira said, sadly. "Even his wife didn't like him."

"Another reason why I did not tell you was for security reasons. The less people who know Severus's true role, the better. Should Voldemort even suspect, Severus's life would not be worth much."

"I can see that," she replied. She had clearly misjudged the potions master and resolved to go and confront him as soon as possible.

"Back again?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

"You deliberately mislead me!"

"I did nothing of the sort, Professor Elmsford." Clearly he was no longer going to call her Kaira. "I merely showed you certain evidence and sent you to the Headmaster."

"Tell me about my father."

"I don't see that it is any of your concern," he said waspishly. "Good day, Professor Elmsford." He retreated to his office and shut the door firmly.

Kaira stood staring after him. That man was one of the most exasperating she had ever met!


	4. Four He Wants Her

Chapter Four – _He_ Wants Her 

Severus Snape apparated at the closest point to Hogwarts that it was possible to apparate. He staggered slightly: the evening had not been a pleasant one. But he could not rest yet. At least the Mark had stopped tingling. The summoning pain he could handle, but the way the thing tingled when near its master was irritating in the extreme.

He began to walk up to the castle. He had to talk to Dumbledore.

Kaira finished the book she was reading (a romance featuring a manly male Auror and a timid witch who worked as a receptionist for the Ministry – it was terrible, but it distracted her from potions, defence against the dark arts, her classes and Professor Severus Snape). She shut the book and replaced it on her shelf. She wondered where it had come from, as it was certainly not hers! Her trashy romances all had false covers and warning signs on the inside to protect both herself and anyone thinking the book looked interesting. Perhaps her room was automatically providing the kind of book she had needed.

She got up and wandered around her room. Passing the window, she noticed a weary-looking black clad figure walking up to the castle.

Snape knocked softly on the Headmaster's door.

"Come in, Severus," he heard. He pushed open the door only to be met by Fawkes sitting just inside it, staring at him intently. He nodded slightly at the bird and went on inside the office. "Are you well, Severus?" Dumbledore asked.

"Well enough, thank you Headmaster," he replied. "He was not of bad temper tonight. He has had news that has cheered him up and plans set in motion."

Dumbledore looked at him over the top of his half-moon spectacles and sighed.

"Tell me, Severus,"

"The news that cheered him is that Bristow's daughter is here. He believes, wrongly, that she may be... persuaded to his way of thinking. He plans to take her."

"You believe she would not serve him?"

"Never. When I recognised him in her, she reacted angrily. She hates his memory and accounts him a traitor. She would never follow in his footsteps. But that is not the worst of it."

"Go on," said Dumbledore, wearily.

"He plans to attack a series of families, muggleborns or others he does not... _approve_... of. I only managed to glean the names of six families." He gave him the names. "Nor do I know the dates of the attacks." Snape sighed. "Lucius has been given the task of co-ordinating the attacks. He does not trust me in that regard – he thinks I am weak and do not like the killing of those who do not directly oppose him. I hope to get more information if he summons me again before the attacks are carried out, but do not count on it."

"Thank you, Severus." Dumbledore pulled at his beard. "I shall have the Order do what we can to protect them. I shall keep each under watch for the first signs of trouble."

"I think... knowing Lucius... that he will go after the Knox family first. He bears a slight grudge."

"I will do my best, Severus. Go and rest, now."

Kaira waited outside the Snape's rooms for him to return. After a while (in which she almost managed to fall asleep), he did come. He looked paler than usual and very tired.

"Severus? Are you alright?" she called.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he snarled.

"I saw you come back. You looked... a little unwell. I thought I would make sure you were alright and if there was anything I could do."

"As you can see, I am fine. Your _assistance_ shall not be required." He let himself into his rooms and shut the door virtually in her face. It had been dark inside and she had seen nothing of the interior. Kaira sighed. She had expected this. What she was not expecting was for the door to open again.

"Be careful," he told her in little more than a whisper, before shutting the door again.

Kaira stood there for a moment, startled. Was he threatening her, or warning her? His voice had been soft and not full of the usual menace it contained. Perhaps he was warning her.

She walked back up to her rooms, but was so deep in thought that somehow she ended up by the Headmaster's office.

"Ah, Kaira," he called. "What a nice surprise. Come and keep a sleepless old man company."

She walked into the office.

"Hello, Fawkes," she greeted the phoenix. "Hello, Albus,"

"You couldn't sleep, Kaira?"

"No," she sighed.

"Perhaps some hot chocolate?"

"That would be nice,"

"Did you go for a walk to try to clear your head?"

"No. I saw Professor Snape coming back up to the castle and wanted to see if he was alright. He told me to be careful. What did he mean?"

"Who knows what Severus means, a lot of the time," Dumbledore twinkled at her. She raised one eyebrow. His smile faded. "I should really get Severus to tell you himself, but he was so tired that I thought it best that he sleep. He has just returned, as I am sure you are aware, from a meeting with Voldemort." Kaira nodded. "He discovered several disturbing things. One of them concerns you. He is aware of your father and believes that you might be swayed to serving him." Kaira choked.

"Headmaster, I would _never_...!"

"I know that, my dear, and Severus knows that. But Voldemort does not. And once he has taken you it will be too late. So you must be careful. We will watch over you, Severus and I. I will ask Minerva to help as well, if she can. But you must help us and be extremely careful. Do not leave the castle alone, or with a single person. Not even Severus or myself. Keep a sharp eye out. Trust no-one."

"You sound like Alastor Moody. Constant vigilance!"

"That would be an appropriate sentiment," Dumbledore smiled again. "Now, I suggest that your hot chocolate may have helped you to feel more drowsy, so go back to your rooms and try to get some sleep."

"You tell me to try to sleep, after you tell me that the Dark Lord wants to kidnap me?"

"That's right, Kaira. Sleep well."

Kaira walked back to her rooms in a slight daze. What do you do when you learn that the Dark Lord himself is trying to kidnap you and will then kill you? Fortunately, Dumbledore had put a dreamless sleep potion in her chocolate, so the minute she got into bed she was almost instantly in the land of Nod.


	5. Five: She's Bristow's Daughter

Chapter Five – She's Bristow's Daughter 

The next day, Severus appeared in her office. He seemed to have a particular liking for moving completely soundlessly and scaring the hell out of people who hadn't seen him come in.

"Dumbledore tells me he told you what I discovered last night," he said, as if he was talking about something completely mundane: a potion he was working on, perhaps. "And I wanted to assure you in person that I will do my best to deal with it."

"Thank you, Severus," she said, holding her panic in check. He looked at her with slightly less than his usual contempt.

"You are welcome, Kaira," he said, gliding out of the room.

He had decided to use her name again, had he? Now that he knew she was important enough to be a target of Voldemort himself? She glared at the space he had occupied a minute ago. Why did he always manage to confuse her?

She was holding herself together well, thought Snape, as he left Bristow's daughter's classroom. Bristow's daughter. He needed to keep on thinking of her as Bristow's daughter. Someone who needed protection. Not as Kaira. Bristow's daughter.

He swooped off down the corridor, spotting a couple of Gryffindors standing talking.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for loitering in the corridors!" he said as he passed.

The two children looked after him furiously, but did not say a word.

He strode into the dungeons, and as he always did when angry, began preparing a potion. He chose a complex potion that would require his full attention until the next class arrived.

"I want a foot scroll on vampires," Kaira told the class, just before she dismissed them. "No complaints," she added as they threatened to moan. "And no excuses. It's a short essay, really, and there should be plenty of information available in the library. And please, no folklore about crosses or special earth."

One student, a Hufflepuff, stuck his hand in the air. She gestured for him to speak.

"Is garlic really a deterrent?" he asked.

"If it's brewed as part of a certain potion, yes. You will find it in your textbooks. Without brewing, garlic can do only a little."

"What about sunlight?"

"Look it up yourselves!" she retorted. "I'm not writing your essays for you. Class dismissed."

She watched them file out, muttering about vampires. She thought she heard Professor Snape's name mentioned, but didn't think any more of it.

Snape's class sensed that he was in a bad mood. Well, perhaps sensed is the wrong word. It would have been very difficult to miss.

"The directions for the potion are on the blackboard. Ingredients at the front. Begin. In silence."

The class filed into their places. Things were precarious enough in Snape's lessons without this kind of mood. No-one spoke and everyone worked carefully trying to make no mistakes as he sat at his desk reading through some papers. They thought, though, that if Snape was at his desk, he wasn't looking at their work and deducting points.

Someone sneezed.

"A point from Ravenclaw," he said, without looking up. "I said silence." The class were impressed: how had he known it was a Ravenclaw who had sneezed? They studied even harder.

Snape was thinking about Kaira... Bristow's daughter. How would Voldemort try to take her? Would he demand that he play a part in it? Perhaps he could plead that Dumbledore was watching him too carefully... Or perhaps he could accept the mission and say that he had failed. Except that failure did not please the Dark Lord very much. It would mean _crucio_ at least. Perhaps he could learn details of the mission and not be a part of it, so that it could be foiled by a seeming coincidence. He would not let Voldemort take her.

Why was he thinking about her so much? There were families out there in danger as well, and all he could think about was _her_. He kept seeing her face. When he had told her that he would try his best, she had been calm. When he had shown her the mark, she had been frightened, but also there had been hatred in her eyes. When she had tried to thank him for giving her those potions for her classes, she had smiled. She was a fighter. Auror trained. He did not know of any other people who had ever completed training as an Auror and not become one... it did not make sense. Why had she not become an Auror? What was she doing here, of all places?

She's Bristow's daughter, he reminded himself. The man you hated. His daughter. Stop thinking about her.

Snape got up and began to glide around the classroom. He was snide and sharp and cruel and deducted a large number of points, but it did not help. He still kept thinking about the girl. He spotted a student who had never given him trouble struggling to chop some helioweed. It was tough and she kept missing the stem. He went over and took the knife from her hand.

"Here, like this," he told her, chopping one weed. He handed her the knife back, and she copied his technique, doing much better. "Better," he told her. As he stalked off, the girl looked after him, as if surprised that she was still alive, unhumiliated and without having had house points taken from her. He was tempted to turn around and snap at her, but forced himself to wander around some more.

He pronounced several potions satisfactory. Their owners looked at him as if he had gone insane, until he asked them, with one raised eyebrow, if they wished to repeat the lesson in their own time. To several more he sneered a little but not enough to wound.

Kaira lurked outside the potions dungeon as the class Snape had been teaching were dismissed. She overheard them talking.

"What was wrong with Snape today?"

"Yeah, I mean first he forbids us to speak and takes house points from a girl who sneezes, then he's chopping Jane Ginkgo's helioweed for her!"

"He said my potion was _satisfactory_. That's never happened before!"

She waited for them all to leave, then went into the room.

Snape was sitting at his desk, massaging his forehead.

"Your class thinks that you've gone insane," she told him.

"I know," he replied, wearily.

"You were _nice_?"

"I was not nice! I am never nice! I was... alright I was nice." Snape answered. "I don't know what came over me. At least I was cruel in the first part of the lesson."

"That's true," she said. "What's bothering you, Severus?"

"You," he replied, candidly.

"Me?" she was astonished.

"What... he... plans to do. I can't stop thinking about if we're going to be able to stop him."

"I didn't know you cared," she mocked gently.

"About you? Don't be ridiculous," he immediately put on his best ferocious glare. "I care that the Dark Lord may be about to kidnap you, I don't care about your personal wellbeing."

"Of course not," she retorted. "No one could accuse you of human feeling."

She stalked out of the dungeon. She didn't really know why she had gone. For reassurances, perhaps, although she should have known that Snape would not give them. Maybe she had just wanted to talk to him. She still wanted to know how he had known her father. Dumbledore had said that he supervised Snape on some early potions work for Voldemort, but she wanted to know more. But she knew that Snape would never tell her.

Once she had gone, Snape went straight into his office, where he pulled out a thick volume on some rare potions and opened it at random. He read it until he had stopped thinking about her. Until he was thinking purely about potions and ingredients.


	6. Six: Danger Looms

Chapter Six – Danger Looms 

Snape apparated and slumped down against a convenient tree. This time the Dark Lord had not been in such a good mood. But he had information this time. He had got it from Voldemort himself, as Lucius would never have given it. He had the rest of the names, and some dates. He also had been ordered to lure Kaira out of the castle so that she might be taken to him. He had tried to object, told him that he was being watched closely by Dumbledore and that the girl would never go anywhere with him. Voldemort had had a innovative suggestion. He did not attempt to conceal his amusement at Snape's obvious distaste for the idea.

Voldemort wanted Snape to form a 'relationship' with the girl. She would then trust him, and follow him into the grounds and to where the Death Eaters waited. It would also give him an excuse to be with her, and Dumbledore would not snoop. The Dark Lord found the idea very entertaining.

He had tried one last time to protest that the plan might blow his cover. Voldemort had replied that at this precise moment, he didn't care about Snape or his cover. He wanted the girl. A second agent at Hogwarts, one that wasn't constantly under the Headmaster's eye, and one in charge of Defence Against the Dark Arts, would be invaluable. Especially one Auror-trained.

Snape pulled himself up and began the walk back to the castle. He would need more than a dreamless sleep potion tonight.

He considered briefly not going to Dumbledore. He could do as the Dark Lord wanted and try to buy some time as he developed the 'relationship', or try to foil the trap without revealing that he was doing so... maybe that would work. But, he decided, he was going to go to the Headmaster. He owed him. Dumbledore would probably know that he wasn't telling him something as well.

He made his way to the Headmaster's office and poured out the whole tale. First, he had given Dumbledore the other names and the dates he knew, then told him about the plan for Kaira.

"Well, Severus," said the Headmaster. "You've done excellent work. We will be able to protect those families as best we can, and there can be something done about Kaira as well." He paused a moment, tugging his beard. "I want you to carry out the plan as Voldemort told it to you. Firstly it buys us some time. Secondly, we can arrange to accidentally be there when you are to deliver her to the Death Eaters. You cannot be blamed for that, and the Death Eaters can share or hopefully take the blame from you."

"You want me to go through with it?" Snape choked.

"Yes, I do," Dumbledore replied.

"But... but..."

"Kaira is a stronger figure than you realise, Severus. If it will save her life, of course you must do it."

"But... how am I to... I don't know anything about..."

"Come now, Severus. You know the sort of thing to do. Take her to Hogsmead, talk to her, sit with her at meals, that sort of thing." The Headmaster seemed to find Severus' discomfort amusing. His eye twinkled. "As it is you, you may wish to start by just smiling at her occasionally and being nice."

Snape glared at him.

"Alright," he replied, shortly. "I'm going to get some sleep."

He left the office, hearing Dumbledore say:

"Goodnight, Severus. Sleep well."

He didn't reply.

When he got back to his rooms, Snape didn't go to sleep. He sat, for a while, with a bottle of whisky.

How could Dumbledore ask him to do this? It was fine for Voldemort to ask it, the Dark Lord liked to make his servants do things distasteful to them, but Dumbledore? He wanted Snape to lead the girl on, make her think he loved her! It was cruel, even if it did save her life. And then there was the fact that he was not exactly an expert on seducing women. How was he to make her accept him, like him, let alone love him?

She was an attractive woman. Why on earth would she want a sarcastic potions master for a friend?

The following day, he did nothing. He was too nervous that she would suspect something. And definitely too nervous that she would instantly reject him. That would be dangerous for her... he suspected that a certain Malfoy might be watching carefully. Draco reported to his father, and it would be dangerous for Snape to forget that.

However, when she smiled at him at lunch, he did not turn away or glare. He nodded very slightly to her. She looked slightly surprised but also pleased. Perhaps this would not be the trial he was expecting.

As he walked down the corridor on his way to the dungeons, a student tripped and spilt a bottle of water that they were carrying on his hand. He turned, ready to give the brat a detention, until he noticed the distinct smell of garlic. He fought back laughter. Evidently Kaira's class had been studying vampires.

"I'm sorry, sir, I'm really sorry," stuttered the student. "I..."

Snape quirked an eyebrow.

"I am not a vampire, Mr Healall," he told the boy. "And if I wasn't so impressed with the fact that you actually brewed a potion on your own I would have you in detention for a month. Am I clear?"

"Yes sir,"

"Now give me that," he said, taking the rest of the potion. "If it is accurate, you will be fined ten house points. If it is not, it will be fifty. Now go."

The student scuttled away, looking thankful to be alive.

As soon as the brat had gone, Snape laughed quietly to himself, and strode off to his classroom.

Once his next class had gone, he went to find Kaira. She was tidying up her office and trying to find a space for a pile of scrolls.

"You have been studying vampires with your third years?" he asked.

"I set them homework on it," she answered. "How did you know?"

"I just had one of them try to use the vampire protection potion on me."

Kaira tried unsuccessfully not to laugh, putting one hand to her mouth.

"Oh dear," she chortled. "I hope you didn't hurt the child."

"No. I didn't even give him detention."

"I'm surprised,"

"I was so amused by the idea that I was merciful," he smiled slightly. "And the fact that he had brewed it on his own, out of class, impressed me. I'm going to test it later, and deduct points on the basis of how accurate it is."

"That's a good idea," she replied, impressed.

"If it happens again, I might be less merciful," he told her, "So you might want to warn them."

"Okay. So you didn't screech and turn into a bat or run away?" she teased.

"No," he replied, what might have been another smile being suppressed. "I shall see you later, Kaira,"

Kaira watched him leave, slightly confused. She would have thought Snape would have never settled for so slight a punishment, and he had _smiled_. What had put him in such a good mood?

When she had her class that Joe Healall belonged to, the one she had set the scroll on vampires, again, they were eager to tell her about their adventure.

"He thought it was funny!" a Hufflepuff who had been hiding nearby said. "Once Joe had gone, he started laughing! And he only took the ten points."

"I think you found that rarest of things, Professor Snape's sense of humour," she told them. "I'd better not do it again, though. He came to see me and warned me that if it happened again he wouldn't find it funny any more. So you might want to let anyone else who has a desire to check that Professor Snape isn't a vampire that they are putting their life in jeopardy!"

"Yes, Professor Elmsford," they chorused.

"Now, onto the lesson. Now you've done your reading on vampires – and found out that Professor Snape isn't one – we are going to study them in class. We will go over the work in your scrolls, then add to it and also work on spells to use against them."

Snape wondered if he could set the vampire potion to the same class in his lesson. That would be amusing. It wasn't on the syllabus, but perhaps he could fit it in anyway. He had analysed Healall's potion and found it to be decent. It would have caused a vampire problems. It was just a good job he wasn't one! He deducted the ten points, and kept the rest of the potion in a phial on his office shelf as a souvenir.

Later that day, in the staff room, McGonagall came up to him.

"I here you've proved that you are human after all, Severus," she smiled, sitting down.

"No," he replied, sardonically. "Only that I am not a vampire. I'm sure there are other things I could be,"

McGonagall laughed.


	7. Seven: Things Move Forward

Chapter Seven – Things Move Forward 

Severus Snape apparated back to just outside Hogwarts. It was raining, raining a lot, and he was too tired to do anything in the way of protection. So he got wet. He was, in fact, drenched. He started walking back to the castle, sheltering under trees when he could.

The meeting with the Dark Lord had gone well, he supposed. Voldemort had been pleased. He had wanted to know if Snape could do the task he had been set. He asked, with a look in his eye that meant that nothing would be a bad answer. If Snape could not do it, he would have the pleasure of crucio at least, and would set another Death Eater to the task. If he could, then Kaira would be soon in his power.

"I can do it," he told the Dark Lord.

"Excellent," Voldemort had hissed. And had given him the date, time and place where Kaira was to be delivered. He had made it clear that a failure would not be a good idea.

Snape was met at the door to the castle, this time, by the girl. What was she doing there?

"Severus, you're soaked!" She fussed. She flicked a quick drying charm. "Are you alright?"

"I'm just tired," he told her.

"I'll go with you back to your room," she offered.

"I must talk with Dumbledore first."

"Alright. I'll walk with you as far as the Great Hall."

"Very well," he replied, although at that moment he wished that she was miles away from him. Somewhere safe where Voldemort could not ask him to betray her. Even if he knew that Dumbledore and the Order would be watching.

They walked in silence for a while.

"How do you do it?" she asked him, suddenly. "How do you face _him_ and lie?"

"I know that he will kill me without a moment's thought," he replied. "And I know that I must go to him, or he will be upset – and that I will be disappointing Dumbledore."

"You are very brave,"

He raised a sardonic eyebrow.

"Go back to bed, Kaira," he told her.

She nodded.

"See you tomorrow, Severus," she said.

"Kaira," he said, and she stopped, and turned. "I hated your father. More than anyone I've ever known."

"So did I," she whispered, as he walked away from her. "So did I."

The next day, Kaira visited the dungeons again.

"You have to tell me about my father," she said, without preamble, when Snape appeared out of his office.

He regarded her quizzically.

"Tell me why you never became an Auror," he responded.

She took a deep breath. If he expected her not to answer, he was mistaken. She needed to know more about her father and how Snape had known him. For that, she would talk about that topic, although it hurt.

"They found out who my father was," she said. "I hadn't... told them. I have always used my mother's maiden name. And when I finished my training, they spoke to my mother, and she told them. That was it. They said that a Death Eater's child could not be an Auror, no matter who they were or how qualified they were. They said I was lucky not to be prosecuted for deceiving them and doing the full training."

"That's remarkably short sighted, even for the ministry," he said, frowning.

"That's what I thought," she replied. "But there was precious little I could do about it."

"No, I suppose not."

"Your turn," she looked expectantly at him.

Snape's frown turned into a full-blown glare. Kaira stood her ground and met his gaze. Eventually, it was Snape himself who looked away.

"It is common practise among Death Eaters for a new recruit to be partnered with an established one. They were to instruct and manipulate the new recruits, especially those that seemed weak. Your father was my partner. He was assigned to me because of his above average knowledge of potions. I was... unsuited... for most active tasks, so I was assigned to a research lab as soon as I left university. He was to supervise me." His face remained impassive as he spoke. "The other, more important, task of the partner was to make sure that the recruit could not go back. By any means – imperio if necessary – they were to persuade the recruit to commit some deed that, once done, meant that they could not leave the Dark Lord unless they wanted to go to Azkaban. Your father was thought to be exceptionally good at it." He paused. "I cannot say that it was necessary for your father to use imperio on me. I did what he wanted. After my initiation, I never saw him again."

He turned on his heel, cloak flapping, and shut his office door firmly behind him.

So that was it, Kaira thought. He blamed her father for whatever crime it was he had committed. She felt as if she understood him a little more now. And it was another insight into the man her father had been. The sort of man that routinely encouraged people to commit crimes – even if they were people who had already become Death Eaters.

That night, there was a quiet tap at her door. She went to answer it, wondering who on earth could be calling on her – Sprout or Sinistra never came this late.

It was Snape.

"Severus," she smiled. "Come in." He ignored her invitation.

"Do you still want to be an Auror?"

"Of course!" He raised a cynical eyebrow. "Perhaps not," she sighed. "I love teaching, but I want to feel that I'm doing something to help!"

"You are," he told her. "Goodnight."

She stared after him in bewilderment as he melted back into the shadows.

And that, thought Snape, is called cowardice. He made his way back to his dungeons and sat for a while in the dark.

Kaira went down to the dungeons yet again the following day.

"Good morning, Kaira. You seem to appear in my dungeons with an alarming regularity."

"Morning, Severus. I just wanted to ask you about Jacinta infusion. I've looked it up, but there seems to be remarkably little on it in my books."

"It's a relatively new discovery," he told her. "You'd need to get a book dedicated to it, or a really up to date compendium."

"Let me tell you what I've learned so far and you can tell me how accurate it is, and some more detail."

"Alright, but remember that some of us have jobs to do."

She ignored that.

"It reduces inhibitions. Mostly inhibitions that are based on shyness, politeness and fear. It makes people act differently, but not necessarily badly."

"That is true as far as it goes. Before the discoveries of the side effects, it was _fashionable_ at dinner parties to serve cocktails with small amounts of Jacinta in them. It acts much like alcohol but without getting drunk and has no after effects."

"Side effects?"

"The side effects are what makes the potion interesting in Defence Against the Dark Arts. And in the Dark Arts. If the potion is used regularly, the inhibitions that it decreases begin to stay decreased. After a while longer, they disappear and the next usage of the potion begins the erosion of inhibition based on morals. A large number of the fashionable people who drank it became morally bankrupt without anyone realising what was causing it. Quite a few became Death Eaters."

"I see. So, if someone was given Jacinta regularly, they would be a much easier target for recruitment."

"Yes."

"Interesting."

At that point, the sounds of a class arriving began to filter into the dungeons, and Snape sighed.

"Oh joy, oh bliss, oh job satisfaction," he murmured.


	8. Eight: Romancing the Stone

Chapter Eight – Romancing the Stone

"I'm going to Diagon Alley today," Severus told her at breakfast. "Do you want anything?"

That was a nice surprise. He was still being civil, if not _nice_!

"The only things I need, I'd have to choose myself," she replied.

"Then come,"

She was so startled that she stared at him for a good ten seconds until he spoke again.

"Make up your mind, I don't have all day to wait for you,"

His acerbic tone reassured her and she raced up to her rooms to collect her bag.

* * *

They walked out of the grounds and apparated to just outside the Leaky Cauldron. They parted ways to do their errands, but agreed to meet for coffee later that afternoon.

"Had a good day?" Kaira asked cheerily, when she caught side of him.

"Tolerable. I've ordered all the ingredients I need and made sure that I get good ones."

"Excellent."

"I've also found this. I thought you might like it." He handed her a book. It was bound with burgundy leather and had the title, 'A Treatise Against the Dark Arts' embossed in gold leaf. It was a rare copy of a work that dated back to the 16th century.

"Oh my! Where did you get this?"

He smirked slightly, as if he had predicted her reaction exactly (which of course he had).

"I know a second hand book dealer on one of the offshoots. He was looking for a rare potions text and put that on one side for me."

"It's wonderful!" She made to hand it back.

"You may keep it."

"Really?" he almost smiled at her eagerness.

"Yes."

She cradled the book reverently.

"What did you buy?" he asked her.

"Some new dress robes, mine were getting a bit tatty; a new batch of hinkypunks, they're delivering those; a couple of books on Jacinta infusion and an owl." She brandished one of the books, which was written by one Severus Snape.

"An owl?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

"An owl. You never said you wrote the book!"

"Does it matter? It was my PhD project."

"I suppose not, but it explains why you know so much about it."

"An owl?" he repeated.

She opened one of her bags, pulling out a cage containing a small tawny owl.

"I'm calling her Amber because of her eyes,"

At the sound of her name, the owl hooted hopefully and batted her eyes at Kaira. She rummaged around in another bag and got out a bag of owl treats.

"Here you go," she cooed. The owl took the food and hooted happily.

"Intelligent creature," Snape noticed. "She already knows how to get food."

"She's so cute!"

"Why on earth did you buy an owl?" the owl glared at him ferociously. "It's a very nice owl," at which it looked mollified, "but why did you get an owl at all?"

"Before, I never had anyone to send an owl to. Now, I could use sending one to my mother at home. So I thought I'd get one."

"I see." Snape watched as she fed the owl another treat.

"I'm going to a concert tonight, so unless you want to come you'll have to make your own way back."

"What concert is it?" Kaira asked.

"You won't have heard of them. They're a choir called the Hiliard Ensemble."

"I love the Hiliards!" Kaira protested. Which, of course, he knew. "That album they did with the saxophonist was amazing!"

"They are just singing tonight," he cautioned her. "But I take it you want to come?"

"Yes!"

* * *

"You went to a _what_ with _who_?" Sprout spluttered.

"A concert with Severus," Kaira repeated. "Is that so strange?"

"Yes!" Sprout could barely speak. "In all the years I've been at Hogwarts, I've never known Severus go out in the evening with _anyone_, let alone go to a concert!"

"It wasn't a planned thing, he was going and I happened to like the choir, so I went too."

"It's not like Severus at all. Normally he would have bit off his own tongue rather than invite anyone else to go with him!"

"Don't be silly. And he didn't really invite me, I kind of invited myself."

"Did he glower at you?"

"No. We both enjoyed the concert."

"Well, I never thought I'd see the day. He must be smitten with you, my dear,"

"Now I know you're teasing me," Kaira smiled.

* * *

Snape hid for most of the day in the dungeons, avoiding even meals. He persuaded a house elf to bring him some food so he didn't starve, and hoped to keep away from everyone. Well, the teachers, anyway. He couldn't really stay away from the students.

He didn't manage it, though. He had a visit from the Headmaster.

"Well, Severus, you seem to be doing a good job," he twinkled.

Snape glared.

"Half the staff think you're in love with Professor Elmsford and the other half think she's sweet on you,"

"I am never leaving this dungeon again," Snape said. "Why couldn't the woman keep her mouth shut?"

"At least it will give Voldemort confirmation that you are doing your job. The students think it's very funny."

"I noticed a few of them smirking at me."

"From the huge decrease in house points, I take it that they didn't smirk for long."

"No," Snape agreed with a kind of grim satisfaction.

"Mr Malfoy was extremely upset with you."

"Mr Malfoy can go and learn some manners, as befits a Slytherin. Sniggering is very rude."

"You should come to dinner," Dumbledore urged. "You have to come out sooner or later."

"Perhaps I could catch a contagious disease" Snape mused.

"Come now, Severus. Come to dinner and I'll share a truly fascinating piece of information with you,"

"Knowing you, Headmaster, it probably involves either candy or muggles, neither of which I have a particular interest in."

"Nothing of that sort, I assure you," he grinned. "Something you really want to know."

"You're not going to leave me alone, are you?"

"No."

"Alright," Snape capitulated.

* * *

"Hello Severus," Sprout called, as he sat down at the high table. "Where have you been all day?"

"I had some extremely delicate work to be doing," he replied, with an icy voice.

"Not thinking about a certain...?"

"Potion? That potion did have to be concentrated on very closely. The slightest mistake could have spoiled it."

"Really? You're not planning another trip out tonight?"

"No."

"Was it a good concert?"

"It was adequate. It would have been improved by removing the audience."

"Not one member of it, surely?"

"Myself? No, otherwise I would have not been at the concert to enjoy it."

Sprout gave up. She did keep glancing at him furtively, as did several of the other teachers. Snape either ignored them or glared at them, and stayed only until he had finished the meal and excused himself.

"I must see if my potion has settled," he said.

Kaira watched him leave, but didn't go after him. She hadn't tried to speak to him at the meal – she didn't want to embarrass him. She would go and see him later to talk about Jacinta infusion.

* * *

"What was it, Headmaster, that you were going to tell me?" Severus waited until later that evening before going to find Dumbledore.

"Oh yes," he grinned happily. "I was going to tell you that I think our dear Miss Elmsford thinks very highly of you. And I also think you think very highly of her."

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

"And that was the reason I submitted myself to the inquisition?"

"Yes. Wasn't it good enough information?"

Snape sighed and went back to his dungeon.

But not even there was he to get some peace. Kaira was waiting for him.

"I wanted to say thanks for letting me go to that concert with you last night, and to apologise for embarrassing you," she said. Could she really 'think highly' of him, as Dumbledore thought? Snape didn't think so.

He waved away both remarks and wandered over to the potion he had spent most of the day brewing. It wasn't quite as delicate as he had made out, but it needed a fair amount of care.

"That's Jacinta!" Kaira exclaimed.

"Yes. I gave you my only bottle, so I'm making some more."

"You studied it for your PhD?"

"Yes. It's a fascinating potion."

"It is. I'm reading your book."

"I hope you find it useful," he said, and turned back to the potion. He turned up the heat and waited until the mixture began to bubble and added a pinch of salamander skin.

"I just wanted to say," Kaira began.

"Yes?" Snape turned to her, eyebrow raised.

"I really enjoyed yesterday, and I'd like to do it again sometime."

"I'm glad," he bit back the snide comment that came automatically. She smiled and left.


	9. Nine: Rose Tint My World

Chapter Nine: Rose Tint My World

The next morning, Kaira was slightly surprised when Snape appeared in her office. He looked out of place in the bright sunlight, like a shadow that hadn't vanished when it was supposed to.

"Good morning, Severus," she smiled. "Come to my office for a change?"

"I thought I'd anticipate you appearing in mine and head you off," he didn't smile. "These are my original case studies for my PhD work. I couldn't publish them due to confidentiality, but I thought you might be interested."

"I certainly would!" Kaira took the proffered papers, noticing the crisp tidiness of the writing. The few mistakes were crossed out with a single straight line. "Did _you_ ever...?"

"No, I've never taken Jacinta."

"Oh." That quashed her nice little idea about why he was so interested in it.

He didn't move for a moment.

"I'd better go," he said, and turned to leave.

"Severus?"

"What?"

"What was it that my father made you do?"

He looked at her, dumbstruck.

"Surely you don't believe your father made me do anything? Anything I did, I did entirely on my own. As it happens, he only had to suggest to me what he wanted done. Even if that wasn't the case, he cannot be made to take the blame!" He strode out of the room.

* * *

Kaira realised that she had been carefully concocting a rose-tinted fantasy in which none of the things Severus had done in the past were his fault. He had been manipulated into joining the Death Eaters, made to commit a crime and was too afraid to leave until the day he contacted Dumbledore. She suddenly saw that all of this was unrealistic. Severus _had_ been a Death Eater. He _had_ committed terrible crimes (although what crimes she didn't know). He hadn't been forced into it, he had _wanted_ to do it. She had almost convinced herself that he was innocent. She sank her head in her hands.

* * *

The realisation that the foolish girl had convinced herself that he had been forced to commit crimes by her father hit Snape hard. What had he said to her? Had he deliberately tried to make her believe what he had done was somehow not his fault? Had he mislead her on purpose? Or was it she who had twisted his words to make them fit what she wanted to hear? And some small part of him regretted that he had told her otherwise.

Kaira felt somehow as if the shattering of her rose-tinted world had made the threat of Lord Voldemort somehow more real. He did want to kidnap her, after all. And now she suddenly felt that she couldn't rely on Severus – he had done terrible things in the past. And if it was a choice between saving her and keeping his cover to keep spying, she wasn't sure that he would save her. She went to see Dumbledore.

"Severus is doing all he can to find out when the Death Eaters plan to attempt taking you," he told her seriously. "We will not let anything happen to you."

"You trust Severus, don't you, Headmaster?"

"Of course I do, Kaira," he smiled in that reassuring way he had. "He has done so much for us."

"I wish I could,"

"Maybe you do, deep inside."

* * *

At lunch, Kaira spoke to Sprout.

"You've known Severus for much longer than me. What do you think of him?"

"Has he upset you?" Sprout asked anxiously.

"No," Kaira protested. Sprout looked sceptical. "I just want to know how other people see him."

"Well, he can be vicious as hell when he wants, and he's certainly cruel to his students (although it seems to work – just look at his pass rate), but if you leave him alone, he's rarely objectionable to the teachers. It seems to be when someone tries to get close to him that he shows them how little he wants to have friends. There's a specific distance he keeps – he'll speak to us at meals or functions, but not at other times." Sprout looked at her with measuring gaze. "You, however, are way beyond that distance."

* * *

That afternoon, she began the first of her classes on the potions that could be used by practitioners of the dark arts. She planned to do a similar class with each year (apart from those in exam years – it would hardly be fair to introduce a new topic and expect them to sit an exam on it), starting with this afternoon's class. It was the 6th Years' turn first, as she hoped that they would be the easiest to teach.

"Alright, we're going to begin a completely new topic today," she told them, smiling brightly. Only one person seemed pleased about that idea. "We will study six potions used in the dark arts to learn how to recognise their effects and to counter them."

"But...!" several of her students didn't seem keen on the idea.

"No buts. This is not going to turn into Potions, so you don't need to worry on that score. We will not be dealing with how to brew the potions, or how they work. Only to recognise and counter them." The class were not convinced. "These are the six potions," she said, writing them on the blackboard. "Who can tell me in very basic terms what their effects are?" One of the students put her hand up. Kaira waited. "Anyone else?"

The lesson had gone quite well, Kaira though, as she dismissed the class. She felt ready to tackle the fourth years next, with an easier version. They would study only four potions and in much less detail. She hoped that the more advanced teaching would be as well received. She felt quite optimistic.

It was, therefore, a happy Kaira who left her office in search of Severus. She wanted to... apologise, maybe, for having a temporary fit of distrust. Not that he knew about it, unless he had spoken to Dumbledore, but she still wanted to see him. She headed for the dungeons, sending lurking students running for the sunshine. She was known to deduct points for lurking – something she had picked up from Severus, actually! She smiled to herself – she had better watch it before she started acting like him.

When she got to the dungeon, however, he wasn't there. She looked around twice, thinking she must have missed him. She had never been alone there for more than a few seconds before he had appeared in the past. She looked around again. Still no Snape. She knocked on his office door. It was warded and there was no reply. Baffled, she went back to her own classroom.

Later that afternoon, her owl appeared, carrying a missive. Kaira grinned as the small creature landed on her desk and batted owl-large eyes in an attempt to get food. She took the letter and fed Amber one of the treats from the rapidly-emptying bag she had bought in Diagon Alley. When she unrolled it, she recognised the handwriting immediately.

"_Dear Kaira,_

_I have decided, due to the overlarge pile of terrible homework on my desk, to flee the castle. I plan to dine out tonight, if you care to join me?_

_Regards,_

_S. Snape"_

She grinned to herself. That man had formality problems! She noted a small postscript at the bottom of the sheet.

"_P.S. I think your owl is telepathic. The minute I finished writing this missive, it appeared. Hang on to it!"_

She quickly penned a reply.

"_Is this a date, Professor? I'd love to, of course._"

She attached it to Amber's leg. The owl took off with every sign of glee and delivered her reply to the Potions Master, wherever he was lurking. She found it reassuring that her owl had found him, when she hadn't!

About ten minutes later, a second note came.

"_Do not push your luck, Prof. Elmsford. Be ready at seven. Wear muggle clothes_."

What on earth was going on? Snape was asking her out for dinner. Had the sun collided with the moon? Perhaps the world had ended and she hadn't noticed. She fed her owl another treat, then put them in a draw out of reach. Amber hooted reproachfully.

"When they're all gone I don't know when I'll be able to get some more," she cautioned the bird. But it looked so sad that she fed it another treat anyway. "You'll get fat,"

That, the look the owl gave her said, is a risk I'm prepared to take.

At seven precisely, Snape knocked at her door. He was wearing a surprisingly nice black long-sleeved shirt and trousers.

"Why Severus, you look nice,"

He glared at her.

"I could say the same to you," he replied, looking at her outfit. "Shall we go?"

They walked out of Hogwarts until it was possible to apparate. Kaira took Snape's proffered arm, and she felt the familiar dislocating sense of apparition.


	10. Ten: All That Doesn't End Well

Chapter Ten: All That Doesn't End Well

That man was absolutely infuriating! Kaira stomped around her rooms, too angry to sleep. When you took someone out for dinner, you didn't just ignore them!

"Accio book!" she snarled, and the book she had chosen flew into her arms a little too enthusiastically. She cursed and opened it at a random page. She often did this when upset – reading a passage on her favourite subjects helped her calm down and feel happier. The top lines of the page read:

'But Horatio was complacent and this allowed the dark wizard to get the upper hand when...' She slammed the book closed in disgust and charmed it back onto the bookcase.

The dinner had not gone well. Snape had pretty much ignored her for the whole evening, and when she had attempted to start a conversation, he had silenced her with a cutting and snide comment. After a few attempts, she had given up and ate her meal in silence. The muggle waiters tried to help, offering her more drinks, extra food, puddings (not approaching Severus, of course), but they couldn't help.

The problem was, she had expected too much. She had expected Severus to suddenly turn into a normal, nice person. That wasn't going to happen, not even if he was desperately in love with her (and of course he wasn't even remotely in love with her, as he had demonstrated that night). Severus was just not that kind of person. She should just give up now and leave him alone, as that was clearly what he wanted.

But if that was what he wanted, why had he asked her to eat with him at all?

* * *

Snape sat at his desk. The evening had not been totally wasted – he had managed to get her to walk out of Hogwarts with him at night, not knowing where she was going. If she did it once, she would do it again, on the night when he was to hand her over.

He put his head in his hands. He didn't feel as if he could go through with this. He had felt it at the restaurant, and had tried to shut her out. He didn't want to lead her on any further. He didn't want to betray the one person he c... didn't loathe.

He couldn't think of any alternative, though, and the date Voldemort had set was approaching fast.

* * *

The next day, Kaira was still in an angry mood, as many of her students discovered. The slightest hint of disobedience or of not having read the texts she had set, and the house points were deducted as swiftly as in Snape's class. She taught all of her classes that day in the same way. She would lecture while the class took notes, and then they would read in silence. She would then test random people in the last few minutes of the lesson.

The students had soon realised that her patience was extremely thin, and passed it on to their fellows, so she mostly had very well behaved children in her classroom. And those that weren't extremely well behaved managed to lose large numbers of points.

At lunch, even Sprout sensed that something was wrong.

"Are you alright, Kaira?" she asked.

"Fine," she replied, shortly.

"You don't seem fine to me. I've been hearing students complaining that you're in a really bad mood and warning others to be careful. That doesn't sound like you."

"I'm just having a bad day. I have a headache." This much was true. Being angry always gave her a headache.

"Do you want us to cover your classes while you have a lie down?" Sprout suggested, gently.

"No. It's not that bad, and it won't hurt the students to be quiet for once."

* * *

Snape noticed that Kaira was very angry about something, and thought he probably knew what it was. He would have to make it up to her before the chosen night. And that left him precious little time. He would have to concoct some story about why he had been short with her and hadn't wanted to talk. If he could convince her of that, she might forgive him. She had better forgive him, or else it was quite possible both their lives could be forfeit. It occurred to him that his minor lapse into having a conscience could not have come at a worse time. It was obviously overrated as a quality.

Kaira kept trying not to look at Snape, but his presence kept drawing her eyes towards him. He was sitting in silence. At least the teachers knew not to bother _him_ if he didn't want to be bothered. _Why_ had he done that to her? She had thought that they were becoming friends. If Snape could have such a thing as a friend. But he had made it clear that he didn't think that they were becoming friends.

He seemed quiet and subdued. She wondered why. What could be upsetting _him_? He of no earthly attachments or human relationships? Maybe there was something more here.

Snape felt her eyes on him, and they were distinctly unfriendly. He had better tread carefully. He finished his meal and excused himself, going down to the dungeons and picking up his quill.

When Kaira returned to her classroom she found Amber sitting on her desk. She had a scroll attached to her leg and looked smug.

"What have you got there?" Kaira asked, smiling. The owl hooted cheerily. Kaira took the scroll to find a letter from Snape. She was tempted to screw it up and throw it on the fire, but hesitated. If he had taken the trouble to write a note to her, then he must have something he wanted to say. But why had he written it? Could he not be bothered to come and speak to her? She gave up and started to read.

"_Kaira,_

_I regret that I did not pay you the attention you deserve last night. I can understand that you are angry with me. I was preoccupied with a matter of my master, and could not bring myself to talk with you about it. I do not want to intrude any more, as I am sure you understand._

_Regards_

_S. Snape"_

So that was it. Severus had seen the Dark Lord. No wonder he had been preoccupied! She wondered if she could have been so composed. He hadn't wanted to worry her, obviously. He perhaps wasn't the inhuman brute she had thought. And she would have to set him right – she was not going to reject him because he had to deal with Voldemort! He was doing a vital task and should be applauded for it, not condemned.

Snape had been quite pleased with the note. If he knew her as well as well as he thought he did, she would use it as an excuse to explain away his behaviour. It had not taken much to persuade her that her father was single-handedly responsibly for his becoming a Death Eater, and that had been accidental. The right words could easily persuade her that he was only trying to protect her from that side of his life and that he was actually being noble in deciding not to see her again.


	11. Eleven: A Night Out They Were Going to R...

Chapter Eleven: A Night Out They Were Going to Remember for a Very Long Time

It was The Day. Snape had woken at a ridiculous time of the morning, in the knowledge that today was The Day. His head was full of conflicting emotions. Part of him was anxious in the extreme that everything would go according to plan. Another part was relieved that the pretence was finally over. And yet another part was going to miss the time he spent with her, although he refused to admit that there was any real reason behind that.

* * *

Kaira smiled at Severus where he sat on the other side of the staff table. The very, very slight smile she received in return was enough for her to notice, but no-one else would have done. Except perhaps Dumbledore, who seemed to see anything.

If anything, over the past couple of days they had grown even closer, although they hadn't spent all that much time together. It was just the shared intimacy of exchanged glances and the odd conversation. Once she had convinced him – _again_ – that she wasn't going to shy away of him because he did a highly dangerous and valuable job, he had been pleased to talk to her again.

She finished her breakfast and got up to leave. She had some preparation to do for her classes today. Severus got up too, and she waited for him just outside the Hall.

"I want to take you out tonight," he said, quietly. "Are you free?"

"Of course," she replied, smiling widely.

"I'll pick you up at nine," he told her, with a rare smile, and strode off down the corridor towards the dungeons.

* * *

Snape held himself in check until he reached the sanctity of his dungeons. Why? Why did it have to be so easy? She had just agreed to a trip that would have her betrayed by someone she trusted and either taken by the Dark Lord or rescued by Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix. It was most likely to be the latter, as only they knew the full details of what was to happen. Yet it was still a risk, and one he was reluctant to take. But it wasn't his decision. If he didn't lead her into the trap, he would be exposed and risked another attack occurring that he didn't know about.

Once he had slammed the door and locked it, he sat at his desk, sinking his head in his hands. How long he stayed like that he didn't know, but when he looked up, Dumbledore was there.

"Headmaster," he acknowledged. "How did you get in?"

"Hello, Severus." Dumbledore smiled his irritating enigmatic smile. "A man must have his secrets, eh Severus?"

"Of course Headmaster." Snape glared. "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to make sure that everything is going to plan."

"It is. I told her I would call for her at nine. I'll take her to the spot."

"Very good, Severus," the Headmaster looked determined and didn't have a trace of the genial eccentric that he usually masqueraded as. "I shall see you later."

* * *

Kaira waited eagerly for the hour Severus had said that he would come for her. It would be the first real opportunity for them to be together for a week or so, and she was looking forward to it. She wanted to talk to him about her dark arts potions lessons, and more about what she had learnt of Jacinta infusion, not to mention just wanting to be with him. He did care about her, after all, and she cared about him a great deal.

At last the classes of the day were over and she retreated to her rooms. She tried to read, but found it hard to concentrate. She welcomed the interruption when there was a knock at her door.

"Hello, my dear," said Dumbledore, when she answered it.

"Hello Albus," she replied, smiling to see the genial figure of the Headmaster.

"How are you?"

"I'm well, thank you. Do come in!"

"I can't stop, I'm afraid, Kaira. I understand you're going out tonight?"

"Yes. Severus is taking me somewhere. He hasn't said where."

"Good. He really needs this at the moment. He's under a lot of pressure from Voldemort at the moment. As long as you're going with him. Try to distract him a little, would you?"

"Of course, Albus,"

"Excellent. I'll see you tomorrow, Kaira,"

"Good night, Headmaster,"

"Good night,"

At last the hour came. Kaira had started getting ready at least an hour earlier, and was waiting impatiently when the knock at the door finally came.

"Are you ready?" Severus asked her. He wore his robes, so she had made the right choice there at least.

"Of course," she grinned, happily. Severus didn't return her smile. Dumbledore was right – he must be under a lot of pressure.

"Come, then," he said, taking her hand and leading her out of the castle.

As they walked through the grounds, she realised that Severus was very tense. Something was clearly weighing on his mind. She resolved to do as Albus had asked and try her best to distract him from it for this evening. Something about the dark made it easy to just walk together in silence, so she did not try to start a conversation. There would be time enough for that when they got to wherever it was they were going to.

Severus led her ever closer to her betrayal while she walked happily along next to him. She had no conception of what was about to happen. He prayed that the Order were ready, and that they would have the sense to not blow his cover. Dumbledore should have warned them how important this was, but he still worried.

He glanced briefly at Kaira. How blithely she walked into the trap. How easily she trusted.

Suddenly, two dark shadows detached themselves from the darkness. Death Eaters. Kaira gasped.

"Hand her over," one of them told Severus, coldly.

"No," he replied, defiantly.

"We will take her, then. Our master has need of her. You will not get in our way, or you will be eliminated."

For an answer he moved in front of her. The Death Eater smiled. He raised his wand.

"Expelliarmus!" came a cry from behind them. In fact, three simultaneous cries. The Death Eaters, unprepared for an attack from behind, watched in horror as their wands flew from their grasp.

The four people who came out of the darkness were not all known to her. One was Minerva, but she did not recognise the other two.

"Did you really think you could use magic to get into the grounds at Hogwarts and be undetected?" Minerva asked. "The Headmaster sensed you hours ago. Enough time to call in the reinforcements." She gestured at the two unknown wizards.

The Death Eaters, wandless and with five wands trained on them, crouched in readiness for a sudden attack.

"Tell us, what is your purpose here?"

"We shall not tell you anything!" the spokes-Eater snarled.

"They were after me," Kaira said, softly. "They said their master has need of me."

"Why does he want her?" one of the wizards snarled.

"We do not have that information and wouldn't tell you if we did!"

"We will persuade you to see it differently," he replied.

The Death Eater hissed and suddenly there was a dagger in his hand. He hurled it at Kaira, who hurled herself to the ground. In the confusion that followed, the Death Eaters somehow managed to get away into the dark and were soon out of sight.

"Let them go," Minerva cautioned, when one of the wizards looked to be about to follow them. "We've done enough."

He nodded.

"Are you alright, Kaira?"

"Yes, thank you."

"This are Remus Lupin and Si... a friend of his," she said, indicating the two wizards.

"I'm pleased to meet you," she smiled. "You were the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher a few years ago, weren't you, Mr Lupin?"

"Remus. Yes, I was. I understand you're doing an admirable job."

Kaira smiled. The party started walking back to the castle.

"It was very lucky Dumbledore sensed them, or I'd likely be in the Dark Lord's clutches now,"

Minerva chuckled.

"He did no such thing. We've been planning this little ambush for weeks, ever since Severus told us what he had been ordered to do. I fibbed a little to preserve his cover."

"Oh."

* * *

Kaira waited until they were back in the castle and she was alone with Severus.

"You used me!" she accused. "You deliberately lead me into that ambush and misled me into thinking you were my friend before!"

"Of course," he replied. "Now, if you will excuse me, I must report to the Headmaster."

How stupid she had been, to think that Snape could ever be a friend. She had even thought he might be something more. How utterly, ridiculously, completely stupid she had been.

* * *

As Snape walked away from her, he knew that he had been lying to himself. He did care about her. But it was too late now. She obviously understood that he had been playing a part and hated him for it. She didn't care that he had saved her from the attempted kidnap – well, he had led her into the trap after all, so he supposed that made sense – she just knew he had betrayed her. He would be lucky if she didn't hex him into oblivion.


	12. Twelve: Down Once More to the Dungeons o...

Chapter Twelve: Down Once More to the Dungeons of my Dark Despair

A few days later, Snape did not appear for breakfast. When he had not appeared by the beginning of morning lessons, Dumblefore, clearly worried, called Minerva and Kaira over.

"Would you two check Severus' favourite apparition spot?" he asked. "I fear he may have been to report last night and not returned. I will see that your classes are settled."

Minerva paled. Kaira tried hard not to flinch.

"Of course, right away," Minerva said, leading Kaira out of the castle and into the grounds.

"Do you think he's alive?" Kaira asked.

"I hope so, my dear. I hope so. It'll be the worse for all of us without him," Minerva replied.

It was extremely unlike Snape not to show up for his classes. There was surely something extremely wrong. Whether he had been delayed by some necessary task, or if he had been prevented from returning was the question Kaira kept asking herself. She told herself that he would have had to do something urgently and would stroll up to the castle with contempt in his eyes at the flap that everyone had been making. He would. He was too obnoxious to do anything else. He had to turn up, he had to.

But nonetheless, when they had left the grounds, and made their way to the place Snape most commonly apparated to and from, they saw a dark shape on the forest floor. Minerva hurried forward, bending down beside the figure.

Kaira's heart jumped. Something had happened to him. Something had gone wrong. He wasn't going to just stroll back. _Please, don't let him be dead_, she thought. Although she was furious with him, she didn't want him to die. Not even him. She watched, numbly, as Minerva tried to find signs of life.

"He's alive," she said, breathlessly. Kaira let out the breath she had been holding. Damn him, he couldn't even get killed properly! Minerva stood up and levitated Snape into the air and the strange party hurried back to Hogwarts. "Poppy! Poppy! Hurry!" Minerva called as they got to the hospital wing. "This is an emergency!"

Poppy appeared, clicking her tongue.

"I don't know, what now? Go on, get out, I'll take care of it from here."

* * *

The Headmaster looked down at the patient. He looked even paler than normal and looked decidedly ill.

"How soon can you get him conscious, Poppy? Even if it sets back his recovery, how long before you can get him to speak?" Dumbledore asked. "I _have_ to know what happened." He looked both worried and compassionate.

"I know Albus," she replied. "But he's badly hurt. He should really be in a proper hospital."

"That's not possible,"

"I know. But he won't be conscious today, or tomorrow. Perhaps the following day. I will call you the minute he wakes up, or before."

"Very well,"

* * *

Snape recovered consciousness three days later.

"Severus?" it was Dumbledore.

"Headmaster," he croaked. Albus smiled in relief.

"What happened, Severus?"

"Don't worry. He accepted all I told him. This was merely a demonstration of the price of failure. The others are far worse off."

He watched as Dumbledore relaxed.

"I thought... when Minerva and Kaira brought you in, that..."

"No, it is well. Perhaps better than well. I told him that Kaira had reacted violently against the attack and was spending her time denouncing him and honing her defences. I said that to go after her again would be to risk failure for no reward, as it seemed she would never join him. I said that no-one knew of the attempt and that it would be better to concentrate resources elsewhere. He is considering it. Get her to act up her hatred of him in Draco's class."

"Excellent, Severus. Did he share anything else with you?"

"No. I was to leave and think how I was not to fail again and I will be called again soon."

* * *

Kaira was hovering. She had found herself, entirely unconsciously, walking towards the dungeons. When she had realised where she was heading, she stopped. Did she want to keep going? She didn't really want to see Snape, and she was sure he didn't want to see her. He had made it abundantly clear that he had never been interested in her other than to keep her out of the Dark Lord's clutches.

As she stood in the shadows, deciding, a stream of students came out of the dungeons, chattering away. Towards the back, a trio of her sixth years walked.

"What's the matter with Snape recently, anyway?" asked one. "He hasn't taken any house points off me all week."

"He hasn't called me a know-it-all either. He hasn't even been mean to Neville," the girl replied.

"He's stopped giving the Slytherins so many points too," the other boy said.

"He's been acting strangely ever since he was ill," the girl mused. "Maybe something happened."

"Well, never mind. We seem to be doing fairly well out of it," the second boy answered.

"Neville certainly appreciates it!"

* * *

That evening, Kaira glanced surreptitiously at Snape as she ate. He looked awful. He was paler than usual and had black rings around his eyes. He stared at his plate and didn't speak, except to offer a curt 'yes' or 'no' if someone asked him a question. Something was clearly on his mind. What was it? Surely he should be proud of himself? If what Dumbledore had told her was true, she was reasonably safe for the moment. He had succeeded in his little mission. Shouldn't that make him happy?

* * *

Snape ate his dinner as quickly as he could and excused himself. He needed the calm atmosphere of his dungeons, the distance between himself and the rest of the world.

He certainly had a wonderful knack, he thought. Not only had he managed to alienate the girl (which he hadn't intended), he actually had started to like her, to care about her. He missed her, even if she had been an irritation and a distraction. A distraction was something he would have welcomed around now.

The dungeons were dark and almost comforting.


	13. Thirteen: Notes Twisted Every Way

Chapter Thirteen: Notes... Twisted Every Way

The owl swooped down to drop a message in front of her as she ate breakfast. It wasn't Amber – in fact, it was no owl she had ever seen before. The letter slid down the table a little way, and Sprout passed it back.

"Someone's popular," she smiled. Kaira smiled back. Sprout had been such a good friend since she had been disillusioned with Snape's friendship.

"So I am," she replied, opening the letter with some curiosity.

_Dear Ms Elmsford,_

_I apologise for contacting you about a matter that I am sure is very painful for you to think of, but I feel that I ought to bring it to your attention._

_Your father has been a patient of mine for some years and had been in a stable, if seemingly permanent, condition. Yesterday, however, he suffered a stroke, which has much affected his condition. It is my opinion that he will not recover. He has been asking for you since he regained consciousness. I understand that you have had no contact with him since he has been in my care, but I hope that you will now consider visiting him. It may be your last chance, I am sorry to say._

_Yours Sincerely_

_Dr U. Joliffe (mediwitch, St Mungo's) _

"Kaira, my dear, what is the matter?" Sprout asked, as she read the letter. She had evidently gone pale.

"I'm sorry, I must go," she said, getting up and fleeing the hall. She felt Snape's eyes stare at her for a moment, and then she was gone.

"Oh dear," said Sprout. "I wonder what was in that letter? I hope it wasn't terrible news."

Kaira ran blindly back to her rooms. She had persuaded herself that her father was dead, that she would never have to see him again, but the letter had shocked her to her core. He was still alive and in St Mungo's. He didn't deserve such care. He should have been sent to Azkaban, never mind the information he had given. Never mind his mental state. He should be dead.

There was a knock at her door.

"Yes?"

"It's me, dear, Sprout," a voice called. "I was just wondering if you were alright."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Alright, dear. Call me if you need anything."

She wasn't going, of course. The merest suggestion was ridiculous. There was no way she was going to visit him. Ever. Not even if he begged for her to come.

There was a second knock at her door.

"Yes?" she said with an edge worthy of Snape.

"Let me in, Kaira," commanded Dumbledore gently.

"Why?"

"Because I want you too."

She shook her head and went to open the door.

"My dear, you've been crying. Something has clearly upset you. What is it?"

She mutely held out the letter. Dumbledore read it quickly.

"I see. You have been reminded of something you want to forget." She started crying again. He put an arm around her shoulders and sat her down. "Now, you need some nice, sweet tea," he beamed, as if everything was normal. "Good tea is a cure for most things."

He waved his wand and a small, fluorescent pink tea set appeared in front of her.

"That's not right," he frowned. He banished it with another wave and retrieved a yellow stripy mug full of nice, sweet tea. She drank it in spite of herself.

"Now. Why don't go give it a go, my dear?"

"You mean go and see him?" Kaira stared at the Headmaster in disbelief.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to remember what it was like! Being a child, in his power... I don't want to remember him."

"I know, child, but you can't avoid him forever. If you go and see him, he may lose some of his power over you. You may be able to move on, to stop caring."

"I don't think I can do it,"

"You can. And if you feel as if there is too little a reward for too great a pain, there is something else that this meeting may provide."

"And what's that? He has nothing I could possibly want!"

"He could tell you about Severus." Before she could speak, he cut her off. "I know you're going to say you don't care, but I know better. Your father can tell you things that Severus would never talk to anyone about. There are certain things he will not tell even me." Dumbledore got up to leave. "Think on it, my dear. I really think you should go."


	14. Fourteen: See why in shadow I hide

Chapter Fourteen – See why in shadow I hide

Why am I doing this? Kaira thought, as she walked into St Mungo's. Why am I letting him affect me again?

She had made excuse after excuse until she had realised that they were just excuses. And she had never been one to shy away from unpleasant tasks. She owed it to herself to see him, to see what he had become. And there was a chance, just a very slight chance, that he had changed.

Dr Joliffe met her at the entrance to the psychiatric wing. She was a professional-looking woman in her late thirties, who smiled brightly as she shook hands.

"I am glad you have come, Ms Elmsford. I think it will mean a great deal to your father to see you. He still keeps asking for you. We tell him that you are coming, but he doesn't believe us. His illness has only increased his paranoid tendencies."

"How is he?" Kaira tried to not look terrified.

"He is stable, but we have to keep a close eye on him. There's not much we can do for him." Kaira tried to remain cool and not look like a frightened seven-year-old. "It's this way."

Kaira followed the doctor into a small, white room that contained a bed in which slept an old man. She didn't recognise him. He looked frail and almost as if the slightest wind would turn him to dust. She didn't recognise him. He certainly didn't look anything like the man who had terrorised her as a child.

"Mr Bristow?" the doctor shook the old man gently, and his eyes opened. Kaira shuddered. They were the same. They were still that piercing grey that she remembered from her childhood. "Your daughter is here."

"Kaira?" he squinted. "Where is Kaira?"

"Here," the doctor ushered her forward.

"That's not Kaira... Kaira's a little girl. Who's she?"

"It's been a long time, father," Kaira said. "I have grown up,"

"Kaira? Is it you?"

"Yes, father."

"I shall leave you alone," the doctor said. "If you need anything, just call."

She closed the door behind her, leaving Kaira alone with her worst nightmare grown old.

* * *

"How are you?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm.

"Oh, I'm wonderful," he said. "Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... it's so nice so nice so nice here..." The gleam in his eyes was disturbing. "Nice, nice, nice... when they're not trying to poison me!"

"They wouldn't try to poison you, this is a hospital."

"That's what you think... they don't like me, they think I'm bad, just because I don't want mudbloods around me... they want to get rid of me, they do..."

"Well if you behave as you used to do when I was a child with regard to muggle-borns, it would be no wonder if they did want to poison you!" Kaira snapped. "You killed people!"

"They were corrupting the gene pool, they had to go... it wasn't as if I enjoyed it, not like some of them, no, I wasn't like that. It was the only way to keep the race pure, to keep magic pure. If they had just kept away from the true wizards and witches, there would have been nothing wrong with them. I had no choice."

"Of course you had a choice! You killed people just because of who their parents were."

"I'm not the only one who's done that. People always do that. Would you not think that the child of a Malfoy was likely to have a tendency towards the Dark Arts? It's just the same. Once a muggle, always a muggle. We had to keep them out, get rid of them... it was the only way, only way..."

"You make me sick! At least I'm not a child any more, I don't have to listen to you." Kaira spun on her heel and headed for the door.

"Kaira, don't go, don't leave me. Please, don't go!"

She turned to look at the frail old man in the bed. He had been punished for his crimes. She could at least sit with him for a while longer. She walked back to the bed and sat down in a chair beside it. What could she talk to him about? Perhaps she should do as Dumbledore had suggested and ask him about Snape.

"I met an old acquaintance of yours recently," she said. "Severus Snape. Do you remember him?"

"Severus, Severus, of course I remember him. He was so very valuable, very. He was so young. I looked after him for a while. Yes, I remember."

"Why was he valuable?"

"I can't tell you, no, it's a secret. I can't tell anyone. It's a secret."

"Why did he join you?"

"I don't know. He was too wishy-washy for most things, he just made potions. I don't know why he wanted to help us, he was so quiet he never said a lot. But he was very valuable."

"Why?"

"You want to steal my secret! Go away! It's my secret!"

"It's okay... I don't want your secret. I just want to know more about Severus Snape."

"He was very cold, yes, that's what he was. Cold. He didn't seem to care about anything. That's what I used when my Lord wanted me to get him to commit to us."

"What did you ask him to do?"

"I only had to suggest it, it was like another of his experiments... I just said, isn't it time you tried that on a muggle, to see how it affects them? It's a more accurate test than a rat. But you're trying to steal my secret again! Stop it!"

So that was it.

"I don't want your secret. It's okay," she soothed gently.

"Go away now. I want to sleep. I won't tell you my secret! I won't!" The old mad looked as if he was about to burst into tears. "You're trying to steal my secret!" Kaira got to her feet.

"It's okay. I don't want your secret. I'm going to go now."

"You are going? Goodbye. Don't let them poison me."

"They won't poison you. Goodbye, father,"

"Goodbye." He blinked owlishly. "Bye bye."


	15. Fifteen: Did you Ever Dream of Running?

Fifteen – Do you ever dream of running?

There was a knock at the door. Kaira looked up from her marking and frowned.

"Yes?" she asked, in her best I'm-Busy voice.

"It's me, Kaira. Let me in." Sprout called back, in _her_ best No-Nonsense voice.

"Alright," Kaira sighed. She got up and trudged over to the door. She opened it a crack to see her friend peering concernedly at her. "What?"

"Kaira, don't play the innocent. You've been avoiding us all. The school's already gossiping fit to burst about the fight you and Severus had, and now... they think he's done something really horrible to you. Tell me what's the matter."

"It's nothing to do with Severus. And we didn't have a fight. How dare people gossip about me, when it's clearly untrue!"

"You mean you and he weren't...?"

"Of course not! We were friends."

"But you're not any more?"

"Nothing has changed," said Kaira, but she knew she was fooling no-one.

Sprout raised an eyebrow.

"Let me come in, and give me tea and then you're going to tell me exactly what's been upsetting you."

Kaira sighed and ushered Sprout inside.

"You poor dear," said Sprout, after she had finished telling the story of her father. It actually did feel better to talk about it. "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you."

"I really hoped that seeing him again would put a lid on it, like Albus said, but it has only made it worse. Now he's in such a condition, I know he's likely to die and I will still feel as if he's dictating how I live my life."

"He can't dictate your life, Kaira. Fools like whoever it was in the Auror training will find any excuse to be fools. And no-one who matters will judge you by him."

"I hope not." Kaira looked into the fire. "I really hope not."

After a minute or so, Sprout spoke again.

"So this is nothing to do with Severus?"

"Well," Kaira hedged.

"You did fall out with him, didn't you? Was that to do with your father too?"

"No. Severus knew about him from the start. He noticed the resemblance."

"Something else, then?"

"I don't really want to talk about him."

"Perhaps you should talk _to_ him, then," she suggested. "I don't really think he's worth the hassle, but you evidently value his opinion."

"He doesn't want to see me," she said. "I was mistaken that I ever thought he enjoyed my company."

"That doesn't seem to be the case to me," Sprout pointed out. "Severus seems out of sorts at the moment, even for him. He barely leaves the dungeon. I think he'd have the elves bring him his food if Albus hadn't ordered them not to."

"He's usually like that, isn't he?"

"Well, he's much worse at the moment than he's ever been before," Sprout said. "I think he misses you and doesn't want to admit it. There aren't many people who would willingly endure his company."

"I don't think he would ever miss me. He made that abundantly clear."

"Well, give it a go. He can only be bitter and sarcastic and utterly cruel," Sprout grinned.

Kaira laughed.

* * *

Severus looked up as someone came into the dungeon. It was her. She looked nervous and ill at ease.

"Professor Elmsford. What can I do for you?" he asked, keeping his voice cold.

"I wanted to apologise," she said. "I was so angry when I thought you'd been stringing me along... pretending to like me, that I didn't even thank you for saving my life."

He stared at her thoughtfully. What was she up to? He nodded stiffly. Did she mean to wring a confession that he did actually care about her from him as some kind of revenge?

"And, well, I miss you."

Kaira was surprised to see Severus' composure slip for a moment.

"What did you say?"

"I miss you," she replied. Her heart was beating very fast, and she hoped he couldn't hear it. "I really do miss you. I know you probably don't care for me, but I still miss you." She looked at him, hoping that he wasn't going to lash out with some vicious remark.

'I miss you', she had said. Severus was dumbstruck. She missed him. She actually missed him. She was obviously sincere. He hoped. But what should he say? He bit back his usual defence mechanism and looked blankly at her for a moment. He got up and walked over to her.

"I... I miss you, too," he said, at last.

And then she was kissing him, and everything was well in the world.

* * *

_Author's Note:_

I know it's short, but that's how they wanted it.

It has recently come to my attention that there are actually people reading this! Hides You must be mad!

Thanks for all the reviews - I really do appreciate it.

Lots of love,

Darklit


	16. Epilogue

Epilogue:

He held her as he explained that they could not tell anyone about their relationship. She had protested at first, 'before…'. But she understood that Severus' cover could not be jeopardised and a relationship with her would not be fitting for a servant of the Dark Lord. She would be happy seeing him in secret. If not happy, then at least content. And when the war was over, perhaps then they could be together properly. If they were still together. She had no illusions about Severus: he was moody, easily angered and vindictive. But she loved him in spite of it all, and intended to keep hold of him.

Later, at dinner, they sat apart. Severus sat beside Sinistra, and she sat with Minerva and Sprout. She could hear him having a spirited discussion with the astronomy professor, although they both spoke quietly. Sinistra it seemed was getting angry. Kaira shot him a glance, which he did not acknowledge, but he soothed Sinistra's ruffled feathers. She smiled into her soup. Perhaps this could work after all.

"_Ah, love, let us be true_

_To one another! for the world, which seems_

_To lie before us like a land of dreams,_

_So various, so beautiful, so new,_

_Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,_

_Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;_

_And we are here as on a darkling plain_

_Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight._

_Where ignorant armies clash by night."_

_- Dover Beach, Matthew Arnold_

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

This is it, the end, no more. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Love,

Darklit.


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